Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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