If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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