No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
