Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
last night I used snow as a chaser
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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