Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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