Only a mothe r could love this liver
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
