they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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