i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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