is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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