she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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