i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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