I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
