so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
