if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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