I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You may now shotgun with the bride
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
