also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
