Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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