Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
