Jerry, you need to find god
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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