the new term for farting is butt boxing.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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