Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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