he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Randomize
