yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
