I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
