i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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