why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
