I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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