My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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