so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
