I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
