So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize