Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
