Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
