Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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