Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I think my fart just growled at me.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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