sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Barsexuality is the new black.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize