You really coming over, don't trick.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
