Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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