Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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