glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
