3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
