Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
