you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
