Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
