He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
