i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
