omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize