I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
