wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
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