dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
