did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
