Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
