I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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