It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize