I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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