I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
