question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
