Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
