My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
