Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
