"it" just moved
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
