dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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