there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
