just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
