I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
