Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
