is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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