You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
