I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Well I just put wine in my tea
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
