I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You ate ashes out of my bong
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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