you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize