Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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