Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Small penises have feelings too.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
