no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Are my feet made of real feet?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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