Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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