Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
