but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
