Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
