It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize