I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
