The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
