were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
