Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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