Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
