Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize