I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
